Best and Worst movies of the Alphabet: A to D

I saw this series on 411movies. The columnist was listing the best and worst Hollywood movies he had seen one letter at a time. After being sufficiently inspired by the column (like most of our movies get inspired by Hollywood), i decided to make my own list for each letter. (Apart from X, no hindi movies start with X).

Some rules:

1. This list is completely subjective, you may disagree ardently with any of my choices, that is your right.

2. I have only included movies i have seen (which is a lot), so i am not claiming that this is a be all and end all. Also, i do watch a lot of movies, so some movies mentioned can come about as obscure.

3. All opinions expressed are mine alone.

4. A huge load of thanks to Subodh Kapoor who helped me identify even worse movies every time i thought i had already reached the worst one.

5. If ever you get the idea to go and watch the movies i have mentioned as my worst, please don’t.

So with that out-of-the-way, here we go with the first installment, movies from A to D:

 

 

A

Worst movie:

The floodgates basically opened with this letter, there were so many movies deserving of being named worst of the letter. They included recent movies like “Aloo Chaat” “Aabra ka daabra – the school of magic” which was an extended ad for Parle-G and Camlin etc. etc. to the Amitabh superhero “Ajooba” or even the godawful movie “Army” to Govinda’s completely crass comedy in “Aunty No.1″. But, after a deliberation due to the embarrassment of riches to choose from, i finally arrived at the worst movie i have seen from the letter “A”.

ABHAY:

For those of you who don’t remember this movie, consider yourself lucky. This is probably Kamal Hasan’s worst movie, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s worst music and a very good movie if you want to keep kids off drugs. The movie is basically one long extended acid trip sequence with the characters turning into anime and back to represent the villains mental health. The background music was an exercise in torture and the performances were non existent. A good choice for worst movie from A.

Best movie:

Some great choices i could have made here as well, from my favorite comedy “Andaz Apna Apna” to “Amar Prem” to “Amar Akbar Anthony” and even more recently “Aamir”. In the end, i decided to give this to an all time great movie:

ANAND:

“Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahin” – The simple sentence on which Anand lives his life. This is a masterclass in filmmaking, where everything clicks. The direction, the acting, the dialogues and the music. “Kahin door jab din dhal jaaye” is still crooned regularly. This is also a rightfully deserving of the spot.

 

 

B

Worst movie: Again a good collection to choose from, there was Kaizad Gustad’s “Boom”, the Indian version of Heartbreakers “Bachke Rehna Re Baba”. And the “winner” is:

BUDDHA MAR GAYA:

As a public service announcement, i have to tell you guys to stay as far away from this movie. I mean it, even out of sheer morbid curiosity, don’t ever consider renting the DVD out. I saw this movie through the movieserver in college, so the only thing i lost was an hour or so of my life and my self-respect. Once again, i repeat, stay away. What were such fine actors like Anupam Kher, Paresh Rawal and Om Puri (who plays a gay sadhu, seriously!!!) thinking when they signed on for this.

Best Movie:

Again, plenty of choices, from “Bheja Fry” to “Bawarchi” to “Bombay to Goa”. I finally had to give this to,

BORDER:

Probably the finest war movie made in the past 20 years. The casting was perfect, the jingoism was kept in control and the climax is perfectly shot. I am sure most of you will disagree with this choice, but i stand by it. This was a really good movie and deserves this spot.

 

 

C

Worst Movie: Well, C seems to be a pretty strong letter to start a movie name with. There are very few outright Bad movies, but bad movies can still be found, just not as many as for A or B. The worst movie from C is

CASH:

With “Dus” becoming a hit thanks to Style and little to no substance, the next logical move was to make a movie with complete style and absolutely no story or anything even resembling a story. Cash was a wasted opportunity to make a good thriller and instead ends up being the worst movie from C.

Best Movie:First, let me acknowledge some of the fine movies which did not make it to Best movie from C: “Chak De India”, “Coolie”, “Coolie No.1″ (back from when David Dhawan and Govinda made good movies), “Chala Murari Hero Banne”, “Chandni”, “Criminal”, “Company”.

But, one movie stood head and shoulders above all others, this is one of my all time favorites, its DVD earns a pride of place in my collection and it is an all round entertainer

CHUPKE CHUPKE: This, my friends, is a true classic. Still as entertaining with repeat watches as it was on the first watch. Dharmendra’s best performance as a lover boy. Brilliant comic sequences, the Karela-Corrola sequence still has me in splits each time with Amitabh pretending to be a Botany professor. Seek out the DVD and buy it, this movie is worth it.

 

 

D

Worst Movie:

D is another strong selection. Honorable mention “Drona”. The Winner is

DESHDROHI:

This movie wishes it was a “Jaani Dushman” or a “Gunda” (to be clear, you will not see either of those movies on this list). This movie could have been a cult classic, but the movie goes way beyond being bad into transcendental territory. This is still a one time watch, but the number of loopholes, logical gaps, bad bad cues by the actors and a script which was probably written in a hurry make it a chore to sit through. There are moments of unintentional humour like when Gracy Singh makes her entry in Dhoom style, but the movie cannot rise beyond its flaws to become a cult.

Best Movie:

D was an embarrassment of riches, if i did not have my list frozen before writing this, any of the honorable mentions could have easily made it as the best movie: “Daag” “Damini” “Disco Dancer” “Don” “Do Aankhen Barah Haath”  “Do Bigha Zameen” “Devdas” “Dev D” “Dosti” and many more. But, on my list, for the letter D, there can only be one best movie:

DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAAYENGE:

The love story of Raj and Simran, a trendsetting movie in more ways than one, and the movie which firmly established SRK, Kajol and YRF in the industry. This movie has it all, and is my best movie of the letter D.

That’s it for this installment, next time we will go from E to H.

Until Next Time,

K.C.G

 

Triple Decker review: Up, Aladin and This Is It.

After wrapping up whatever work i had to do, i found myself at Necklace road at 9 in the morning on a Saturday with the whole day ahead of me and my pre-booked ticket for “This is it” being for the 3:30 show. Since i felt too lazy to go back to Kukkatpally and come back to necklace road again (and brave Hyderabad traffic twice more) i decided to go to Prasads IMAX and catch whatever was playing until my friend would turn up at 3 for the movie.

So, i found myself watching 3 movies on this Saturday, “Up”, “Aladin” and “This is it”. The reviews for all 3 follow:

Starting off with “Up”: The premise of this movie sounded so unlike Pixar’s previous efforts, but then again i realized that Pixar movies never have a single premise from “Toy Story” to “The Incredibles” to “Cars” and “Ratatouille” and “Wall-E”, every movie is different, but every movie is still great and an unique experience. There was a great article on Box Office Prophets which claimed that Pixar are aliens, which is the only explanation for how they can get away with such outlandish themes and still make them work.

“Up” is the story of Carl Frederiksen, who as a young kid was inspired by adventurer Charles Muntz to travel the world with his equally adventurous wife Ellie. But the realities of life got in the way, and Carl was never able to fulfil the promise he made to Ellie that he would take her to Paradise Falls in South America. After Ellie’s death, Carl is forced to vacate his house to make way for a new construction. At this point Carl remembers his promise and ties his house up with Helium balloons and takes off for his long overdue adventure.

His unwilling shipmate is Russell, an overenthusiastic wilderness explorer who wants his “assisting the elderly” badge, and later they are joined by Dug, a talking dog.

Like i said, the above 2 paragraphs do not seem like they would make a good movie, let alone a good children’s movie. But, Pixar has developed a screenplay where you are more than willing to let physical impossibilities slide and just let them tell you a great story.

The Animation is top-notch, at some points in the movie, i felt that it was real and not animated. The voice acting is brilliant, and the story holds the movie together.

Overall, “Up” raises expectations from Pixar again, lets hope “Toy Story 3″ will be even better.

4.5 on 5 for “Up”, go watch it.

Second movie for the da,y “Aladin”: Somewhere beneath the excesses shown on screen, deep within Aladin, there is a good movie waiting to show itself. But the movie got lost in the indulgence and overacting that comes across.

The story deals with Aladin Chatterjee, who is named as such because his Father believes that Aladin’s lamp is real. His parents are killed while searching for the lamp leaving Aladin an orphan. Aladin is continually teased by his friends for his name, and is also forced to rub lamps by them as a form of ragging. He is in love with the exchange student named Jasmine, and on his birthday, when Jasmine is tricked into presenting him with a lamp which he rubs, out comes Genius (Amitabh Bachchan).

The genie helps Aladin get the girl and they live happily ever after. Oh wait, there is a subplot about a fallen genie, The Ringmaster (Sanjay Dutt), who wants to become a genie again, and he will do this by capturing the shadow of a comet which only comes by once every million years (Don’t ask.)

The main problem with the movie is that it is a concept stretched too far. It seems good enough for maybe an hours worth of material, but at 2 hours and a bit, it starts dragging. The visual effects are good, and don’t look tacky, which is always a plus.

The actors overact, but seem to be having fun while doing so. Sanjay Dutt in particular seems to know the absurdity of his character and acts accordingly. Riteish is good, Amitabh is ok. The new heroine, Jacqueline is eye candy and nothing more.

Overall, 2.5 out of 5.

 

At the start of this movie, we are shown interviews with the backup dancers, who are obviously excited to just be on the same stage as Michael Jackson. Then, we are shown the final press conference for the concerts and Jackson says “This is it. It is the final Curtain call”, and the prophetic nature of these words hit you.

“This is it” is a celebration of Jackson as an entertainer. The songs are chosen brilliantly, each one building in tempo from the last. The rehearsals begin with “Wanna be starting something” go through a brilliantly edited “Smooth Criminal”, through “Thriller” and conclude with the crescendo of “Billie Jean” which shows us just why Jackson was highly regarded as a performer. His perfectionism shines through as he insists on specific notes being hit, certain cues and so on.

Throughout the movie, you actually feel like you are in a concert. In fact, a few people in the theatre started clapping after the amazing “Billie Jean” performance.

The movie ends with “Man in the mirror” and a message “Love is forever”.

Whatever we might think of Jackson as person, his talent is never in question. At no point can we make out that this was a frail 50 year old who would be dead soon. The movie is seriously a must watch for both Jackson fans and non-fans, just because this is the last time we get to experience the songs and the performance.

Overall, 4 out of 5. Brilliant performances, excellent choreography and a look behind the scenes at what would have been an amazing concert had i happened.

 

Until next time,

K.C.G

 

 

Honest Scrap

So i chanced upon this post by my friend called the “Honest scrap”. The basic rules of which are

1. You have to first list 10 honest things about yourself (and make them interesting)
2. Second present the task to seven others.

With that in mind. Here are 10 perfectly honest things about me (which i feel can be shared in a public forum):

1. I am a Mangalorean through and through. I believe it is the best place on the planet and no amount of arguments can get me to back down from my stance, every other place can only compete for second. I try my best to make sure i attend the Mangalore Rathotsava every year, and have only missed it 2 times so far.
2. My favorite sport is Formula One. Cricket, Football and Wrestling (ya, i know it’s fixed, but it is still entertaining) follow closely. Also, i have never seen Senna drive, so as far as i am concerned, Schumacher is god.
3. I make it a point to watch the first episode of any new serial on Television. I don’t know why i do this, i just do it. Of course, i almost never watch anything beyond the first episode though.
4. I have been a member of a library since i was 3 years old, and still go there everytime i am in Mangalore. I had promised myself that when the next Dan Brown book came out (which was supposed to be in late 2006) i would purchase it from the library. The book came out 3 years late, but i kept my word.
5. I am a SRK fan, i have seen almost every movie of his (or is it I have seen every movie of his) even “Oh Darling, yeh hai India”. I used to defend his bad performances, but i have grown out of that and now recognize when a performance is good versus when it is bad. Also, DDLJ is probably the best romantic movie made in India ever.
6. I love chocolate. Who doesn’t?
7. I hate art movies. If i wanted to see tragic endings, i would watch the news. I believe that a movie should be an escape from reality, or if they are trying to be realistic, at the very least try to be entertaining. I don’t like it when movies decide that they want to be symbolic for no apparent reason. I watched “Transformers 2″ in IMAX and loved it. The movie didn’t pretend to change the world, the trailers were clear “Come in, enjoy your popcorn, relax, watch the robots fight each other”.
8. My favorite comic book hero is “Green Lantern”. Just edging out Batman. My library never had too many Batman comics when i was growing up, but there seemed to be a lot of Green Lantern comics. This might explain why i like those comics better.
9. I have no strong political leanings either way. But i do believe that elections have devolved into a process of choosing the lesser of the two evils.
10. I hate waking up early, i can stay awake till late, but waking up early is an alien concept. I don’t know why this is, because everyone else in my family are early-birds. My mom can get all the housework done before i finally wake up at around 10. The weekend is a synonym for “Time to sleep” for me.

There you have it, 10 perfectly honest things about me.

Since i need to nominate people, if you have read the whole thing, consider yourself nominated for the “Honest Scrap”. Do send me a link if you decide to write one yourself.

Until next time,

K.C.G

 

Music Review: Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani

I like listening to music while i work, and one theme i have consistently noticed is that i almost never listen to a full album. Mostly because every single song on an album being good enough to warrant a listen is very, very rare. In fact, so far this year, only 2 albums had earned a full listening from me, those albums being “Raaz: The mystery continues” and “Dev D” and both albums consisted of what can be termed as not proper filmi music. The only proper filmy album which had come close was “Love Aaj Kal”, but the wedding song was a chore to listen to.

That brings me to “Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani”, an album i only started listening to because of the promo track “Main tera dhadkan teri”, but this album was a genuine surprise and i felt that was enough to get it a music review post. The album has 14 songs on it totally, well it has 7 original songs, 5 remixes, a reprise and an unplugged version. The album also has a grand total of 17 (SEVENTEEN) singers. Despite all this, through the whole album, i wanted to skip a portion of a song only once.

The album kicks off with the aforementioned “Main tera dhadkan teri” which kicks off with Hard Kaur rapping, but the singers of the song proper are K.K. and Sunidhi Chauhan, the song is a really good one and will mostly be the song which will cause people to purchase the music, but it is not the best song on the album.

The best song of the album appears 3 times and is sung by a 7 different singers. The song is “Tu Jaane Na“. The first version is sung by Atif Aslam, the song has a sufi rhythm and Atif’s voice is perfect for it. The reprise of the song is sung by 3 different singers, but the best version of the song is sung by Kailash Kher and is the Unplugged version.

The next song “Oh By God” sung by Mika ans Sunidhi Chauhan has a very catchy wedding shehnai as the base, the song starts off irritatingly, but then gets way better, and by the time we hit the shehnai portion, the song just explodes. This is followed by “Tera hone laga hai” which sounds a lot like “Is this love” from Kismat Konnection. This is followed by “Prem ki naiyya” which features Neeraj Shreedhar trying to sing in Bhojpuri, yes, it is as funny as it sounds.

The last 2 songs are probably the weakest in the album, but still good songs nonetheless “Aa Jao meri tamanna” by Javed Ali and Jojo (the Woh Kaun thi guy) is a good lounge track and the song “Follow Me” is basically the rap portion of the first track minus the rest of the first track.

All in all, this is one of the better albums of this year (The best album of the year is still close between Raaz and Dev D, according to me at least).

Pritam has composed brilliant music, 5 on 5.

 

Hindi DVD director commentaries

One of the reasons i prefer watching DVDs over VCDs (or for that matter over downloaded prints of movies) is the directors commentary feature on them. These commentaries take us behind the process of the making of the film scene-by-scene. Since i watch most movies i want to see upon first release in theatres, this commentary becomes a reason for me buying a DVD. Some directors commentaries are really good (Any Pixar movie) and some are done as an afterthought just so they will have something to put on the DVD. So, when the DVD shop near my home was having a buy 6 DVDs for 200 bucks offer for Diwali, i  just couldn’t resist. I was slightly disappointed by the fact that most hindi DVDs do not have directors commentary on them, but after a lot of searching, i found 5 DVDs having commentary on them (and i bought “Dil Chahta Hai” to make the purchase number 6 items, and this is my review of the commentary on the discs. (Note: this is not a movie review, it is the review of the alternate sound track featuring the commentary only)

1. Rang De Basanti: Rakeysh Mehra introduces us to the film and how he came up with the title, casting etc. I liked the in-depth way in which he dissects each scene in the movie. How he tells us the different points where Aamir Khan ad-libbed certain phrases, the whole concept behind the film etc. The one problem with the commentary is that he dwells on technical details a bit too much, quoting camera speed, shutter speed etc. for a few scenes a lot. Overall, it is a fun bit of commentary.

Major takeaway:The Cameramen on RDB were geniuses, some scenes which look like they were shot during twilight were actually shot in mid-afternoon (something to do with the exposure)

2. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na: Abbas Tyrewala starts his commentary with the “All Characters are fictitious” screen unlike the others on this list who wait until the credits have started. This was a fun commentary to listen to, and goes to reinforce the Aamir “Perfectionist” Khan stereotype.

Major secret spilled: As i had guessed in this post: http://kcgadiyar.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/an-idle-observation/ . One of the characters in the movie was supposed to be gay. For some reason, all the scenes involving that storyline were cut during editing.

3. Kal Ho Na Ho: My personal favorite among the commentary tracks heard. Nikhil Advani is extremely forthcoming about everything that happened during the movie shoot. The commentary track is actually much better than his next 2 movies (“Salaam-e-ishq” and “Chandni chowk to china”). Although, at times, it becomes too much of an ass-kissing exercise, but overall it is pretty good.

Reasons why Nikhil Advanis next 2 movies were so bad: One consistent thing in the commentary is that anytime a really funny scene happens in the movie, Advani says “This dialogue was Karan’s idea” or “This dialogue/expression was ad-libbed by SRK/SAK on the spot” which applies to almost every single entertaining scene in the movie. This will explain why the next 2 movies had a general paucity of fun and entertainment.

4. Heyy Babyy: This is the most comprehensive commentary track i have heard. There is not just commentary by Sajid Khan, but there are excerpts of comments from the actors as well. The main problem with the commentary here is that after a while it just becomes a self-congratulating session.

Buy the disc for: The extremely detailed “Making of a movie” which is almost as long as the movie itself and takes us through every single facet of making a film.

5. Neil and Nikki: The commentary by Arjun Sablok gives us an idea of just how much fun the unit had while shooting this movie (and somewhat strangely, this is the only Yash Raj film to actually have Director’s commentary as a feature). If only they had taken care to have a good story to go with the fun they had. BTW, the climax of the movie is not bad at all, probably one of the better ending scenes i have seen.

The director claims: that he was just putting every man’s fantasy on celluloid when he made this movie.

Some movies i would like to see have special commentary tracks on them:

1. Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron: Not just one, i would love to hear what every actor involved has to say. This madcap entertainer deserves the DVD with commentary treatment.
2. Damini: With commentary for the first half done by the director and for the second half done by Sunny Deol.
3. DDLJ: I think it would be interesting to get the views of the cast and crew as to what they were thinking when they did not know that this movie would become such a huge hit.
4. RGV ki Aag: I think it would be interesting to get the views of the cast and crew as to what they were thinking when they did not know that this movie would become a metaphor for “bad movie”

Until Next Time,

K.C.G

 

A few random thoughts

Don’t you hate it when you have thoughts in your mind which by themselves cannot make a full post, but are still too big to condense down into 140 characters. I recently had a few of these, so am combining them into one post. Enjoy.

• Recently, two people i know met, fell in love and are now getting married. Most people around me are saying “Oh, it is just like a movie”. To them i say “No, this is nothing like a movie”. I am happy for the guys who found each other, but this comes nowhere near a movie. In a movie, people meet, hate each other, through convoluted circumstances start seeing each other more frequently, eventually realize that they are falling in love, but are both seeing other people. Finally, one of them decides to get married(normally the girl), and the movie ends with a mad dash to the wedding and an admission of love in front of a gathered audience (and we will assume marriage and happily ever after, since no movie goes that far). So, am i right or have i been watching too many romantic comedies?
• I realized that i only look for 3 points in any romantic comedy i watch: 1. There should be a clear hero and heroine, i need to know who i need to root for ending up together. 2. Funny and completely outlandish scenarios which would never occur in real life. 3. The hero and the heroine ending up together. What can i say, i am easy to please.
• Just read “Diary of a wimpy kid”. Brilliant book, and a very fast read. Also bought all 3 books in the Dexter series for pretty cheap.
• Cracked.com, TV Tropes, Mental Floss and Neatorama. Stay away from these sites if you ever want to get any work done. Seriously, these sites are like the internet equivalent of black holes, you go in, and never come out.
• Going to watch the Champions league matches this weekend at the Rajiv Gandhi stadium here in Hyd. Looking forward to my first live cricket experience. Hoping for Gilly, McCullum, Gibbs etc. to be in good hitting form and for the rain to stay away.
• The last few and upcoming Hindi movies have had english titles majorly, here is a selection: “Wanted” “Whats your Rashee” “Wake Up Sid” “Do Knot Disturb” “Blue” “Acid Factory” “London Dreams” “All the best” “Radio”. Trying to woo the discerning Indian viewer i guess.
• The new “How i met your mother” season has got off to a brilliant start with 3 of the funniest episodes i have seen in the series. The “Check dance” in episode 2 is just classic.
• Watched “The Ugly Truth”, probably the most misogynistic movie you may ever see. Strangely enough, the movie had 3 female writers. And it doesn’t help that watching Gerard Butler now just reminds me of “300″, i half expect him to say “This… is….SPARTA” in most scenes.
• Dont you hate it when life takes a turn towards irony country?
• Pisceans Rule, no reason why, they just do. Lets accept it as the truth and move on.
• Lata Mangeshkar celebrated her 80th Birthday recently, here are my top 5 Lata songs, Seeing how there are a huge number of songs to choose from, your top fives may not have a single song from mine, but here goes:  5. “Dil deewana bin sajna ke” – Maine pyaar kiya. Brilliant song and brings back a lot of childhood memories.  4. “Gaata Rahe Mera Dil – Guide, this song is just freshness personified.  3. “Yeh Kahaan Aa Gaye Hum” – Silsila, I just love this song, everything from Lata’s voice to Amitabh’s interludes are just perfect.  2. “Jab Pyaar Kiya Toh Darna Kya” – Mughal-e-Azam, Grandeur.   1. “Tere bina zindagi se koi” – Aandhi, this song is essentially the perfect storm, a great movie, great music, great lyrics and topped off by what I consider Lata Mangeshkar’s best vocal performance.
• Anyone know when “Ishqiya” is releasing? The trailer was just too good, but no news after that.
• Blue is the colour. Right on top where they deserve to be.
• But Europe belongs to the Catalans.

Well, with that, i am outta here. Cya soon.

Until Next Time,

K.C.G

 

Book Review: The Lost Symbol

I wanted to buy “The Lost Symbol” the day it was released, but the price of 700 bucks seemed too steep, and as a rule i generally wait for the paperback version of books. Finally, when in Mangalore, my librarian offered me a 25% discount on purchase, so “The Lost Symbol” made its way to my bookshelf and has now become the first hardcover (brand-new, not second hand) book in my collection.

The plot of the book follows the exact same pattern as both “Angels and Demons” and “The Da Vinci Code”. The bare bones of all 3 plots are the exact same, Robert Langdon (who i now picture as Tom Hanks thanks to the 2 movies) has to solve clues scattered across a city by an ancient secret society while accompanied by a female companion who is a relative of his friend (who has either been captured or murdered) and being chased by a man who mutilates himself because of his belief in a higher power. The only difference this time being that the city is Washington D.C. and the secret society are the Freemasons.

As can be seen, the plot has a “Been there, done that” feel to it. And there in lies the paradox of the book, despite the plot blueprint being the same as his previous 2 books, despite there being a dozen contrived coincidences, despite the tremendous leaps of faith we as readers are required to take at some points in the book, despite everything, I have to say that this book is a bloody damn good page-turner and very hard to put down (I was up till 3 not wanting to sleep until i finished it). In fact, from the time the first clues are shown, as a reader, we are now in competition with Langdon to try and decipher them before he can.

This book may in fact be the first “Interactive novel” i have ever read. The book forces you to look things up online as Langdon remembers the paintings, sculptures etc. At one point in the book Langdon even says “Google George Washington Zeus” and i actually did. This added a lot to the reading experience.

After rubbing Christianity the wrong way with his last book, Dan Brown seems to have taken a more measured approach this time. The Freemasons are held in the highest esteem throughout this book, common misconceptions about the masons are discussed, dissected and cleared. A lot of references are made to the apocalypse, Noetic Science, Circumpuncts and the mystical meanings of pyramids. There is even a reference to 2012 and the weight of a persons soul thrown in for good measure.

Overall, the book is a really tight thriller, sure there are some plot twists for the sake of having plot twists and some fuzzy logic used, but that is why we have willing suspension of disbelief. And the negatives are easily outweighed by the positives. And as a reader, this book was a rewarding experience, introducing new ciphers, magic squares and more such concepts.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5. Read the book, you won’t be disappointed. Much better book than the imitations which had sprung up in between.

 

Andhra has only 3 occupations (Source: APSRTC)

Pretty funny thing noticed by me today. I was trying to book tickets using the APSRTC website for a journey. The site required me to register before the tickets can be booked. The form for registration had the field “Occupation”. The options in that field made me realize that according to the APSRTC website, only 3 occupations exist in Andhra. The screenshot is below: (Click to embiggen)

In case the picture is not visible, the 3 options under occupation are (with all typos included):

1. Bussiness

2. Govt Employee and

3. Software Professional

No one else books e-tickets i guess.

Until Next Time,

K.C.G

 

May I direct your attention to: – 05

One of my favorite pastimes while browsing the internet is using stumbler. It directs me to so many arbit websites, and i in turn send my friends those arbit links.

Since it takes no time to just copy a link and send it along, i decided to make a weekly post out of it, this way i can always have some activity happening on my blog front even when i have nothing to write about. I present to you:

Best movie seen last week: Again, pretty strong selections this week. I watched “It happened one night” (which is probably the template for all future rom-coms), “The Wrestler “Enter the dragon” and the movie which almost had this honor wrapped up i.e. “Blade Runner”. Then, SET Max last night telecasted this movie which won this based on just one person. The movie of this week is “Damini”

I wonder how the rest of the actors feel that 17 years later, this is essentially considered a Sunny Deol movie. I mean, until you saw the poster above, did you know that Rishi Kapoor was the hero?

Trailer of the week: “Ishqiya”. The trailer looks good and makes me want to see the movie, Mission Accomplished trailer.

Cracked.com page of the week: Arnold Schwarzenegger. An Excerpt: “Arnold was, literally and figuratively, the biggest celebrity in the world for a 15 year stretch beginning in 1982. His movies have collectively made over $4 billion worldwide, which means Arnold has earned $9,102,826.06 for every word of spoken dialogue he has delivered on film.“

Song of the week: “Ee sanje yaakagide” from “Geleya”. I dont include Kannada songs normally, but the video for this song is one of the best i have ever seen and Sonu Nigam’s vocals enhance the song. Water being splashed never looked so good. Probably the best shot kannada movie song ever. Enjoy.

WTF? moment of the week: “But… he’s gay” watch this news anchor make a freudian slip on-air. How can a 14 second clip be this funny?

Motivational Poster of the week: A lot of my friends have been taking this quiz on facebook called “What is unique about you?” and getting the result “You are unique because you are unique” along with a motivational poster. Somewhere, the person who designed the quiz is laughing, because this is the poster which comes along with the result.

And with that i am outta here.

Until Next Time,

K.C.G

Random Quote: “No matter how good you are at something, there’s always about a million people better than you.” – Homer Simpson

For all “May i direct your attention to” entries: click here

 

How much did Farhan lose?

This post has been a long time coming, i finally put this together over the past week. After listening to the song “Pichle saat dinon mein” i always wondered as to how the guy managed to even pay the sky high insurance premiums he must have. This thought germinated an idea, and that idea finally led to this post. So, i proudly present to you “What is the total value of things Farhan Akhtar lost?”

My MS Paint skills are not all that up to scratch.

First off, here are the lyrics to the song:

Meri Laundry Ka Ek Bill, Ik Aadhi Padhi Novel
Ek Ladki Ka Phone Number, Mere Kaam Ka Ek Paper
Mere Taash Se Heart Ka King, Mera Ik Chaandi Ka Ring
Pichhale Saat Dinon Mein Maine Khoya
Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main, Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roya

Present Mili Ek Ghadi, Pyaari Thi Mujhe Badi
Mary Jane Ka Ek Packet, Meri Denim Ki Jacket
Do One Day Match Ke Passes, Mere Naye Naye Sunglasses
Pichhale Saat Dinon Mein Maine Khoya
Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main, Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roya

Kaise Bhulu Saatva Jo Din Aaya
Kisi Ne Tumse Ik Party Mein Milvaaya
Kaisa Pal Tha, Jis Pal Maine Tumko Pehali Baar Dekha Tha
Hum Jo Mile Pehli Baar, Maine Jaana Kya Hai Pyar
Maine Hosh Bhi Khoya, Dil Bhi Khoya
Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main, Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roya

Maine Pichhale Saat Dino Mein, Ye Sab Hai Khoya

So lets start the analysis.

1. Meri Laundry Ka Ek Bill: Kind of tough to quantify, since it is a bill. But thinking laterally, having the laundry bill means that his clothes are at the dry cleaners and he needs the bill to get the clothes back. Now, we never know how many items of clothing are actually at the cleaners. But, taking an unofficial survey, most people seem to give clothes to the laundry once a week, so roughly that makes it 3 shirts and 3 pants if the guy reuses his stuff. Being in a rock band, proper grooming is probably not high on his list of priorities, so we can assume 3 pants and 3 shirts. Keeping a base price of 500 per article, that still makes it 3000 bucks lost thanks to the small piece of paper.

2. Ik Aadhi Padhi Novel: This one is much easier, we can start by assuming paperback, since Hardcovers are tough to lose. And also, it must have been a not so memorable paperback if he lost it so easily. The average paperback costs 295 bucks. So, that is the figure from this one.

3. Ek Ladki Ka Phone Number: Priceless. Cannot attach a tag to this one, the thing that will hurt the most from this will be the amount of effort the guy will have to put in to get the number again.

4. Mere Kaam Ka Ek Paper: It really depends on what paper he is talking about, if it was an employment contract, it can probably be remade. If it is a normal piece of paper with an address on it or something, it will be tougher. But, on the whole, seeing how it is just a paper, i will say Zero loss.

5. Mere Taash se Heart ka king: Now again we have to assume scenarios here, why would he be angry about this? In the movie, the band is regularly shown playing cards, it is not out of the realm of possibility to assume that while playing cards, Farhan was dealt a hand which was a Royal Flush minus the king of hearts. This of course would be the “Lost” card. Lets say the band members dont bet high, that still puts the loss in the range of 2000-5000 bucks, lets be safe and say 3500.

6. Mera Ik Chaandi Ka Ring: There is no indication in the movie that Farhan is about to propose to his girlfriend. So, the ring would mostly have been a present from his parents. In which case, since his father is shown to be fairly rich, we can easily peg this at 15000+. If it was self bought, then that brings it down to about 7500 (although it would barely be considered a diamond ring at that point). So, i am keeping the higher range and saying 15000.
One verse down, one more to go. As an interlude, the best status message i saw this week was “After Monday and Tuesday, even the rest of the week goes WTF”

And, we are back
7. Present Mili Ek Ghadi, Pyaari Thi Mujhe Badi: I bought a watch as a present for my brother last year, it cost around 1500 bucks. Notice that he never says that the Ghadi is particularly good, he just says that it is dear to him. So, we can assume a cheaper version and say 1000.

8. Mary Jane ka ik packet (There is some disagreement if it is “Mary Jane” or “Meri Jeb”, i tend to lean towards the former) : For those not in the know”Mary jane” is slang for Marijuana. Since i did not want my google cache to have the search term “Cost of marijuana”, i did the next best thing and went over to Wikipedia. From the experts at our own wiki: The price or street value of Cannabis varies strongly by region and area as well as quality. In the general United States however, Cannabis was overall the #4 crop with it being the #1 or #2 crop in many states, including California, New York and Florida, averaging $3,000/lb. In the United Kingdom, one Cannabis plant has a street value of £300.

Also, from the movie “Salaam bombay” and from experiences of fellow students on campus, i can peg the price to around 3-5000 with minimal errors for a whole packet (if anyone can correct this figure, go right ahead).

So, taking the mean: 4000 bucks.

9. Meri Denim ki Jacket: Again a fairly easy one, lets peg this at 750.

10. Do One day match ke passes: Let us assume that the match is a watchable one, i.e. say India-Australia. The rates at Wankhede apparently go up tp 5000 -10000 for a marquee match. But if normal stall passes are taken, then it would be 2500. So, that gives us the figure 5000.

11. Mere Naye Naye Sunglasses: So, let us assume its not Ray-Ban, since the band needs to perform at orchestras to buy their instruments. So, its off the road, which means around 150 bucks. Giving us a grand total of:

3000+295+3500+15000+1000+4000+750+5000+150 = 32695/-

So, the total cost of all the things Farhan Akhtar has lost in the song “Pichle Saat Dinon Mein” is (not including the phone number of the girl): 32,695 rupees, give or take. Man, that must have been one hell of a week.

I hope you guys enjoyed the song being more overanalyzed than it ever should be and than anyone in their right mind should ever analyse it.

Until Next Time,
K.C.G